So I've had my 64GB iPhone SE a week now. During the two-week shipping time I re-acclimatised myself with the smaller form-factor by the using my old iPhone 5S before committing myself to selling my 128GB iPhone 6 Plus.
Boxing up my "old" iPhone 6S Plus, filmed with the iPhone 5S whilst my SE was being made at the factory (settle in with headphones for the full ASMR experience):
Whilst using the iPhone 5S I realised I'd only really been chasing the camera and battery tech on the newer iPhone releases. The big screen was nice to have whilst discovering new games but frankly now all the iOS arcade racers and first-person-shooters are the same old tired genres and bore me to tedium. I continue to enjoy classic puzzlers like Scrabble and Words and 10,000,000 and You Must Build a Boat - which play just as well on the SE screen as its larger siblings.
Play a lot of big-name games? Use a console. Categories diverge, always have. For my casual puzzle gaming though, the SE is just fine.
To boot I also sold the 6S Plus at a price that easily covered the cost of the 64GB iPhone SE. The SE is the cheapest iPhone model (if you go for the 16GB model which most people wanting to shoot video probably should avoid) and yet for me it has more mojo than its bigger siblings, it's understated, discrete, just plain stealth.
Unboxing my new favourite iPhone, again filmed with the 5S (and again recorded in a way to maximise any ASMR trigger potential so wear headphones for best effect):
Now obviously the iPhone SE isn't for everyone since Apple will no doubt continue to sell gobs of larger screened phones. I really hope they keep a smaller form-factor in their line-up and this isn't some sort of "one of" Special Edition phone as part of Apple's 40th year.
Right now, for long as 1080P remains a viable consumption format (and I'm sure it will be for another 10 or 20 years or longer) then I don't really have any compelling reason to ever upgrade from the iPhone SE (it can shoot 4K if I can really be bothered) - unless it becomes completely obsolete - which will happen eventually as happens to everything including entire civilisations. (In other words, I'm not going to let that worry me!)
And, did you notice the video above shot with the 5S were 720P@60fps? An ancient phone in technology years.
The iPhone SE shows Apple found some mojo, it didn't wimp out entirely on components and build materials, you could even say iPhone SE is da BOM.
Don't listen to me make up your own mind and exercise your own powers of critical thought. Fink different.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Monday, 18 April 2016
Friday, 15 April 2016
☴ Trendspotting and Avoiding Media Fads
I'm pretty bored of hearing about VR (virtual reality) that I decided to check why it was everywhere in my feeds and streams. It definitely seemed like it was all rooted in some astroturfing PR campaign.
Well I was not surprised to see this trend line:
It's clearly a campaign push media idiot feedback loop bound for a deep deep trough of disillusionment.
Compare that with more steady interest in Deep Learning:
Heck, even the humble old staycation is a safer bet for sustainable growth (which itself may have arisen from a campaign push media idiot feedback loop):
Proof, if any were needed, VR is in a bubble and it's very likely about to come down the other side of its spike. I won't be wasting my time or money on it just yet. I'll see you on the other side.
Well I was not surprised to see this trend line:
It's clearly a campaign push media idiot feedback loop bound for a deep deep trough of disillusionment.
Compare that with more steady interest in Deep Learning:
Heck, even the humble old staycation is a safer bet for sustainable growth (which itself may have arisen from a campaign push media idiot feedback loop):
Proof, if any were needed, VR is in a bubble and it's very likely about to come down the other side of its spike. I won't be wasting my time or money on it just yet. I'll see you on the other side.
Friday, 15 January 2016
Relax. You're Quite Safe Here.
How new interest in VR could re-ignite the music video and album sales.
There's been a lot of chatter recently about VR (and AR) from the usual suspects. Apparently the tech is a lot better looking now, you know, realistic and immersive.
The immersive part always makes me laugh. I can be immersive with a pair of headphones and a decent binaural recording. I can be immersed reading a book. Imagine! I digress.
The point was, the narrative goes, VR failed in the 80s/90s because it was clunky low resolution shit.
True dat.
It was also true that gaming in the 80s/90s was clunky low resolution shit. It fucking rocked and a new industry was born - well documented in crowdfunded Bedrooms To Billions for one (I particularly like the founder of U.S. Gold admitting that he had no idea what he was doing).
So VR failed, 8-bit gaming skyrocketed through to the consolidated industry we know today. Stay with me.
I believe that VR may continue to fail whist it is physically non-passive. It will appeal to paintballers and lots of other people but who will actually prance around all day in that get up? I don't see it being as big as console gaming (famous last words of course). You can sit playing games at a console all day. VR all day? Be my guest.
Gaming, in common with watching movies, or watching a hybrid of the two - a Twitch stream - is largely passive, hypnotic.
Contemporary VR you must be awake standing up looking around bending reaching tripping over your furniture.
So even though today VR may look amazing it's is not a medium to be frolicking in for hours on end around staircases.
So, by my reckoning, VR must become a more passive activity to succeed - whatever success is nowadays.
VR reminds me of 3D in the cinema - it's going to be rolled out every generation to see if it sticks.
Anyway.
Passive VR. Immersive. Remember what I said about headphones and binaural? This has lead to a boom in Youtube videos promoting ASMR - sounds that make you feel good - and discussions around frisson - music that makes you feel good.
Strikes me that ASMR and frisson typically occur when the subject is passive rather than running around having all senses abused and bruised.
So if VR is to become a household medium, how could we shoehorn VR with sounds that make you feel good? Music, of course. Ambient soundscapes. More. No doubt over time a grammar would develop more akin to cinema than gaming (but Twitch is evidence that lots of people enjoy watching games passively and this goes right back to the days when computer games were in the arcade at the seafront - I remember watching that guy beat Space Harrier, awesome!).
Music video can be a great experimental landscape, as indeed can music itself.
VR is so fixated on the vision it forgets the wave.
Ignore the tech companies, ask an anthropologist.
Or, of course, not.
Persuading anyone that they need a helmet to listen to the latest album by the current big thing won't be easy. That's why a new category needs to be invented, and a progressive company needs to be first in it. Which is where it all falls apart. No smart money here! (unless the helmet plugs into a lightning port).
 |
| Not wearing headphones. |
The immersive part always makes me laugh. I can be immersive with a pair of headphones and a decent binaural recording. I can be immersed reading a book. Imagine! I digress.
The point was, the narrative goes, VR failed in the 80s/90s because it was clunky low resolution shit.
True dat.
 |
| VR - then. |
 |
| VR - now. |
So VR failed, 8-bit gaming skyrocketed through to the consolidated industry we know today. Stay with me.
 |
| Sitting passively wearing headphones. And that other thing. |
Gaming, in common with watching movies, or watching a hybrid of the two - a Twitch stream - is largely passive, hypnotic.
Contemporary VR you must be awake standing up looking around bending reaching tripping over your furniture.
So even though today VR may look amazing it's is not a medium to be frolicking in for hours on end around staircases.
So, by my reckoning, VR must become a more passive activity to succeed - whatever success is nowadays.
VR reminds me of 3D in the cinema - it's going to be rolled out every generation to see if it sticks.
Anyway.
Passive VR. Immersive. Remember what I said about headphones and binaural? This has lead to a boom in Youtube videos promoting ASMR - sounds that make you feel good - and discussions around frisson - music that makes you feel good.
Strikes me that ASMR and frisson typically occur when the subject is passive rather than running around having all senses abused and bruised.
 |
| Still no headphones. |
Music video can be a great experimental landscape, as indeed can music itself.
VR is so fixated on the vision it forgets the wave.
Ignore the tech companies, ask an anthropologist.
Or, of course, not.
Persuading anyone that they need a helmet to listen to the latest album by the current big thing won't be easy. That's why a new category needs to be invented, and a progressive company needs to be first in it. Which is where it all falls apart. No smart money here! (unless the helmet plugs into a lightning port).
 |
| 'EyePhone' VR, 1989. Note single cup headphone, d'oh. |
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Problem Solved: If Apple Ditch The Headphone Jack
The sky is falling as Apple is rumoured to be ditching the headphone jack in iPhone 7. Aside from the fact it is merely conjecture at this point, the entire planet seems to have forgotten that Apple are unlikely to ditch Bluetooth and, that being the case, instead of lining Apple's pockets you can buy a third party Bluetooth receiver to use with your old headphones.
Sure, this is not perfect - if you are able, use a cable - because of course the Bluetooth receiver costs money and is another battery to charge, another device to pair, another complication in your life (simplicity at Apple died with Steve Jobs?) - but it does make Apple's decision easier to deal with if they do indeed ditch the headphone jack and you really want to keep hold of your old headphones (I'm quite attached to my iGrado pair for example).
Actually, it's a TRRS jack, and I'm kind of more annoyed that it will render my Røde Smartlav+ microphone obsolete without some Lightning adapter or improved Bluetooth protocol inclusion.
There's always Android!
Sure, this is not perfect - if you are able, use a cable - because of course the Bluetooth receiver costs money and is another battery to charge, another device to pair, another complication in your life (simplicity at Apple died with Steve Jobs?) - but it does make Apple's decision easier to deal with if they do indeed ditch the headphone jack and you really want to keep hold of your old headphones (I'm quite attached to my iGrado pair for example).
Actually, it's a TRRS jack, and I'm kind of more annoyed that it will render my Røde Smartlav+ microphone obsolete without some Lightning adapter or improved Bluetooth protocol inclusion.
There's always Android!
Tuesday, 29 December 2015
☴ Watchlist: HFR & ASMR
I've noticed an emerging trend amongst progressive filmmakers. Firstly they treat online as their primary global distribution platform (natch) but secondly I am seeing more and more content produced with HFR and ASMR.
HFR has largely been rejected by cinema going audiences, but I believe long-term it will become de-facto standard and 24fps will be regarded by my grandchildren as I regard the quirky looking 18fps footage of a hundred years ago incorrectly played back at 24fps.
It's ironic that as a young filmmaker stuck with 50Hz PAL video, I hated that horrible 'soap opera' look of 50i. I strived for that 'film look' just as some modern filmmakers strive for that 'VHS look'. Madness! I yearned for D1 720x576 but when it was finally affordable it was basically obsolete. I wish I'd discovered Laver's law in my twenties then it may have all made a lot more sense to me.
I remember reading, I forget where - other than in print in the early 90s - that when developing Star Tours the boffins got great reactions from audiences when subjected to HFR (60fps was trialled IIRC) - not interlaced like TV, but progressive, actual frames, like film. It wasn't to be though, probably due to reasons of expense and available bandwidth in existing technology. Wish I could remember what the article was and where I read it!
Reading that, it stuck with me to this day. So HFR came as no surprise to me. I believe more motion data is just as important as UHD and beyond. Kids growing up on console gaming just see a blur when they go to the cinema. In fact, so do I (and I don't even own a console).
Cinema may stick with 24fps (for that extra stop in low-light during acquisition), but it's doubtful if IMAX will. I firmly believe IMAX will supplant contemporary cinema as the 'narrative event experience' because home cinema is more comfortable (and a whole lot cheaper) than going out to the cinema. Audiences are split about 3D at the cinema but frankly that's a big fat red herring that gets rolled out every couple of decades. If you want 3D go see a stage play, they are awesome nowadays.
There's an argument that the dating scene will sustain modern cinema. I call bullshit on that, as Netflix & Chill has been marketed so successfully to the younger generation who have grown up with choice and abundance.
No way home cinema will stick with 24fps, it will cater to the console kids who grew up gaming at 60fps and will demand their own normal when voting with their wallets (well, assuming the concept of a wallet survives ...)
HFR, especially at 60fps, solves a lot of problems for the progressive filmmaker.
ASMR hasn't made it into cinemas, mainly because 'true' ASMR required the listener to be wearing headphones. It's unlikely that traditional production technique will ever cater to ASMR. However, again, I believe my grandchildren may be more au fait with it than the general public of today. Whilst it may never be mainstream, I believe its benefits will ripple out just as Hi-Fi has done over the last 40 years or so.
There's no doubt that ASMR is pseudoscience, however I have definitely experienced emotional and 'tingly' responses to sound and ASMR is a good an explanation as any.
Essentially ASMR boils down to two things, of which in my experience only one needs to be present (but both is better).
Firstly, perhaps most importantly, ASMR is positional stereo. This usually means recorded binaurally POV. Not practical for most narratives (great for first-person-shooters that the kids play on their consoles - are you detecting a theme yet?). However, I believe a good stereo sound stage reproduction will suffice (more practical for production of traditional narrative).
Secondly, frequency response. Not necessarily flat, but it needs to be 'clean' rather than 'muddy'. This is because the ear cannot discern the direction of bass frequencies but higher frequencies can be highly positional. Higher frequencies tend to lend more air, and thus feed into those ASMR tingles.
It's totally possible for ASMR to be mono, but it is far more effective in stereo. Stereo allows the ear to pick out positional details due to time differences in the sound wave hitting each ear.
This is why it annoys me that Apple's iPhone cannot record stereo with its three (count 'em!) onboard mics. In every other way, the onboard audio always amazes me except for this glaring omission. Sure, external mics are available (and very decent M/S mics they are too - see video embedded below) but sometimes the onboard mics are all you have - typical during the frugalwave. Onboard stereo mics on an iPhone would no doubt be thought about and positioned correctly in relation to the camera lens (or the corrective/adaptive DSP would be spot on).
So Apple has 800 engineers working on the iPhone's camera that they buy from Sony - so what about the audio-visual?
UPDATE: Yes, I should have mentioned the digital bits that represent latitude and all that good 4:4:4 stuff but I think something akin to Moore's "law" in CCD / CMOS / NEXT TLA will see better and better low-light performance over time - it's going to happen anyway.
HFR has largely been rejected by cinema going audiences, but I believe long-term it will become de-facto standard and 24fps will be regarded by my grandchildren as I regard the quirky looking 18fps footage of a hundred years ago incorrectly played back at 24fps.
 |
| Everyone can be a filmmaker using a single device. |
I remember reading, I forget where - other than in print in the early 90s - that when developing Star Tours the boffins got great reactions from audiences when subjected to HFR (60fps was trialled IIRC) - not interlaced like TV, but progressive, actual frames, like film. It wasn't to be though, probably due to reasons of expense and available bandwidth in existing technology. Wish I could remember what the article was and where I read it!
Reading that, it stuck with me to this day. So HFR came as no surprise to me. I believe more motion data is just as important as UHD and beyond. Kids growing up on console gaming just see a blur when they go to the cinema. In fact, so do I (and I don't even own a console).
Cinema may stick with 24fps (for that extra stop in low-light during acquisition), but it's doubtful if IMAX will. I firmly believe IMAX will supplant contemporary cinema as the 'narrative event experience' because home cinema is more comfortable (and a whole lot cheaper) than going out to the cinema. Audiences are split about 3D at the cinema but frankly that's a big fat red herring that gets rolled out every couple of decades. If you want 3D go see a stage play, they are awesome nowadays.
There's an argument that the dating scene will sustain modern cinema. I call bullshit on that, as Netflix & Chill has been marketed so successfully to the younger generation who have grown up with choice and abundance.
 |
| EXT. Star Tours. |
HFR, especially at 60fps, solves a lot of problems for the progressive filmmaker.
ASMR hasn't made it into cinemas, mainly because 'true' ASMR required the listener to be wearing headphones. It's unlikely that traditional production technique will ever cater to ASMR. However, again, I believe my grandchildren may be more au fait with it than the general public of today. Whilst it may never be mainstream, I believe its benefits will ripple out just as Hi-Fi has done over the last 40 years or so.
There's no doubt that ASMR is pseudoscience, however I have definitely experienced emotional and 'tingly' responses to sound and ASMR is a good an explanation as any.
Essentially ASMR boils down to two things, of which in my experience only one needs to be present (but both is better).
 |
| POV often neglects audio completely. |
Secondly, frequency response. Not necessarily flat, but it needs to be 'clean' rather than 'muddy'. This is because the ear cannot discern the direction of bass frequencies but higher frequencies can be highly positional. Higher frequencies tend to lend more air, and thus feed into those ASMR tingles.
It's totally possible for ASMR to be mono, but it is far more effective in stereo. Stereo allows the ear to pick out positional details due to time differences in the sound wave hitting each ear.
This is why it annoys me that Apple's iPhone cannot record stereo with its three (count 'em!) onboard mics. In every other way, the onboard audio always amazes me except for this glaring omission. Sure, external mics are available (and very decent M/S mics they are too - see video embedded below) but sometimes the onboard mics are all you have - typical during the frugalwave. Onboard stereo mics on an iPhone would no doubt be thought about and positioned correctly in relation to the camera lens (or the corrective/adaptive DSP would be spot on).
So Apple has 800 engineers working on the iPhone's camera that they buy from Sony - so what about the audio-visual?
UPDATE: Yes, I should have mentioned the digital bits that represent latitude and all that good 4:4:4 stuff but I think something akin to Moore's "law" in CCD / CMOS / NEXT TLA will see better and better low-light performance over time - it's going to happen anyway.
Wednesday, 4 November 2015
Eating Humble Pie - Apple, Pie
So you may remember I was very disappointed with the direction Apple is taking lately, with its subscription model and general smugness. So I switched to a Sony Xperia Z3+ via a refurb Z2 (still a good value phone I reckon).It's not that Android is bad. Indeed, I am completely won over by Google services once more and thanks to Google Music I am actively listening and rediscovering my music library once more.
Google Inbox has matured to a point where it just seems normal to me, I've always used my email as a to-do list, so it's perfect(ing). I've been centralising my schedule with (Microsoft's) Sunrise Calendar and not looked back. And Google Keep has since been released for iOS.
So the software that sits on Android is not bad.
It's the ...
Well.
Those that know me know that I have virtually zero tolerance for a product flake out in critical working situation.
You guessed it.
The Xperia video camera let me down. More than once.
I can workaround the native camera not recording 1080P video for more than 30 minutes, but some things I can't comes to term with:
1. Camera lag. From activation delay to a delay after pressing record, it is not acceptable to me when one of my primary uses for bothering with a smartphone is to have a reliable and robust video camera on me at all times. The Xperia hardware may be robust and reliable but the software has proven to me over the last couple of months that it is neither robust nor reliable.
2. Fixing the exposure. I mean, c'mon. I want to set an exposure and keep it there, please. I didn't realise how important that feature had become to me on iPhone.
3. Third party camera apps that are a bit flakey. Likely because of that F word.
I just don't have time for this shit. I need something that "just works", shit here I am on my knees begging for iPhone to take me back because in my experience it "just works".
So I guess I've learned a lesson here. I love recording live stereo sound, I really love it. However, moreso I love a reliable and robust video camera that records mono. And there always the Shure MV88 and my credit rating before I bankrupt myself with another round of Apple gear and Lightning cables.
Like I say though, Google services have won me over. Android hardware flakiness is to Apple network services flakiness in my experience - frustrating and somewhat second-rate; mediocre.
My next iteration airninja mojo core kit looks like being a previous generation Apple phone running current generation Google services. Win win, right?
Thursday, 17 September 2015
Imagination and Rejection Letters
A friend of mine recently got his stock rejection letter from a certain very well known b-list British film festival, which addressed him by his surname (weird, rude, amateur hour clerical error?) - as my friend read the text to me over the phone it all sounded eerily familiar - in fact exactly the same as the body of my rejection letter I had received 10 years earlier from the same festival for my flick Crooked Features - which went on to win awards and developed into a stage play.
Think about that.
Ten years of business and the stock rejection letter hasn't changed a bit. It made me realise (again) that festivals are (still) run by change-averse bureaucrats and curators - and that does not infer they have one iota of imagination - imagination to spot your raw talent.
Revolution will not be encouraged from the festival circuit. Jumping the curve is tantamount to being utterly mis-understood by the establishment.
So why continue on the festival treadmill?
Well - you have to keep going too.
A personal example:
Any potential career as an author was cut dead by two handwritten but similar-ish rejections from Interzone over 20 years ago - from that point on, young naive me decided the time and emotional investment wasn't worth the agony and would just stick with ideas, concepts, and screenplays - the barebones of modern storytelling in the age of motion pictures.
Think about that.
Ten years of business and the stock rejection letter hasn't changed a bit. It made me realise (again) that festivals are (still) run by change-averse bureaucrats and curators - and that does not infer they have one iota of imagination - imagination to spot your raw talent.
Revolution will not be encouraged from the festival circuit. Jumping the curve is tantamount to being utterly mis-understood by the establishment.
So why continue on the festival treadmill?
Well - you have to keep going too.
A personal example:
Any potential career as an author was cut dead by two handwritten but similar-ish rejections from Interzone over 20 years ago - from that point on, young naive me decided the time and emotional investment wasn't worth the agony and would just stick with ideas, concepts, and screenplays - the barebones of modern storytelling in the age of motion pictures.
 |
| BEING WITHOUT 'Thank you for submitting your story to Interzone. It is not for us, I'm afraid. It is neither a good story nor a bad story but says too little that is new and needs (to my mind, at least) a resolution. What was its point? (Why use insects, for example, rather than human beings?)' |
 |
| THE FACEMAKER (A VIRTUAL NOBODY) 'Thank you for submitting your story to Interzone. It is not for us, I'm afraid. Some nice ideas though somewhat crudely strung together. The piece says too little that is new and ends in the middle of nowhere. Sorry.' |
Friday, 11 September 2015
eBay Sellers: Avoid iPhone iCloud Lock Extortion Scam from Buyers
Yes you may think the sellers are the scammers but I now have first hand experience of buyers using the same scam to extort sellers!
Read on to find out how you can definitively avoid being extorted. Or if tl;dr scroll down to the end for the bits of proof you'll need and other guidelines.
I apologise in advance for potty-mouth.
Okay, I suppose I should begin at the beginning. As regular readers know I have switched to Android phones for various reasons so put my iPhones up for auction on eBay.
One iPhone sold without friction, just the buyer asking for proof of the extended AppleCare+ which I duly provided. Everything went well, the buyer paid promptly, I gave them positive feedback on eBay. Some days later the buyer gave me positive feedback on eBay. All good. Possibly lulling me into a false sense of eBay feedback nirvana.
Anyway. The other iPhone was a totally different story.
As an aside, the first listing for this other iPhone ended with an international user with zero eBay feedback winning the item. As regular sellers will know this has all the hallmarks of a throw-away eBay account used to inflate the price of your auction out of the market. And surprise, this buyer never paid and never responded to my messages. Naturally I did not ship the iPhone, it just sat boxed and ready to ship, all iCloud unlocked and everything.
You know when your iPhone is iCloud unlocked because Apple send an email to you via your Apple ID details telling you exactly that. Remember this!
Anyway. I re-list the iPhone that didn't sell, but keep the auction within national boundaries to keep it simpler. A few days later the winning bidder pays promptly. Great. All is well and good in eBay land so far.
I explain to the buyer that the warranty status can be confirmed by entering the device serial number at Apple's website. I also suggest they can record it on their Apple support profile once they have it set up with their Apple ID. I also double-check I have removed it from my own support profile (of course I had, ages ago!)
So far so good. Package the iPhone and send it off via Royal Mail Special Delivery, insured up to £600. I am careful to keep proof of posting, natch.
The buyer seems quite excited to receive the iPhone, I am quite happy for them, they've messaged me a couple of times to ask about warranty blah blah blah, nothing out of the ordinary.
The buyer messages me to confirm receipt of the iPhone.
My first mistake: because things seem to be going so well, I give the buyer positive feedback. After all, they seem happy, they've paid, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh.
I smelled something fishy. The pungent aroma of an eBay asshole.
Sure that I had shipped the iPhone iCloud unlocked, I double-checked my iCloud account Find My iPhone and my Apple Support profile - nada. It aint there, so surely it must be unlocked and this person is just being a cock.
In case my Flickr Yahoo ID has somehow become associated with an Apple ID, I use iForgot to attempt to reset the password - however Apple systems report no record. Phew.
That asshole buyer got smellier.
I googled to see if there was a way to check iCloud activation status - after all, if I could prove the iPhone was currently iCloud unlocked, this eBay asshole could get fucked.
I typed the iPhone serial number in at Apple's Activation Lock check website. Guess what? The iPhone is iCloud Activation Locked. FUUUUUUUUUUUU - how did that even
Breathe.
The buyer offers their mobile number. You know, for a quick chat to smooth things over - all I'd need to do is give over my Apple ID username and password so they can unlock the iPhone. WAIT WHAT.
So not only is the iCloud account the iPhone is locked to not match my actual Apple ID, the buyer assures me a quick old-fashioned chat over the phone will solve everything.
This now stinks to me. It is obvious that the iPhone has been tampered with but I stop short of any accusations. I guess Royal Mail must've done it, right?
The buyer thinks there's no way Royal Mail tampered with the device (and I tend to agree). They are pointing the finger at themselves as far as I'm concerned. (I say 'they' because there are three different names associated with this particular transactions' accounts at their end).
I remain polite.
They accuse me of being an iPhone dealer, a scammer, untrustworthy - the implication being the iPhone is stolen and I am not the previous owner - booga booga. They say I know damned well that an iCloud locked iPhone can be had on eBay for hundreds of pounds less than what the buyer paid hint hint.
They assure me they are a 100% genuine eBayer. And their account does have double the amount of positive feedback than mine.
I'm not budging. I know I sent the iPhone with iCloud deactivated and as I mentioned the account it was locked to their end was not my account. The only explanation is that the iPhone has been tampered with after dispatch. Unfortunately I can't definitively prove this and the asshole knows it.
I check out eBay policy on name-calling accusations. I report the asshole for being an asshole, being sure to mention that he was asking for my Apple ID username and password outside of the eBay messaging system.
The next morning I get a much cooler, polite, message from the buyer. Let's sort this out amicably shall we?
Well as far as I'm concerned there's nothing to sort out, they've locked the iPhone themselves and are trying to guide me into offering a refund. I can prove I am the previous owner of the iPhone and I can prove ownership has transferred to them.
I remain polite. Send proofs of purchase and warranty. They give me a sob story about an interrupted social life and then taking half a day off work to visit an Apple store to get the iPhone unlocked. Diddums.
They tell me the iPhone is now iCloud unlocked (I double check, and it is) and that because it was sold in the iCloud locked state (it wasn't and I have emails from Apple to prove it) and because they had the inconvenience of visiting an Apple store (I only have the assholes word for this, no proof) that I should agree to a partial refund to ensure positive feedback from them. WAIT WHAT.Now of course there's a small chance this buyer is not an asshole, but demanding a partial refund or else they will give me negative feedback? Well fuck 'em, I'll suck down the negative feedback and I'll further report the asshole to eBay for attempted extortion.
And that dear reader is why I must offer you this advice when using eBay to sell your iPhone: you must keep a record proving that the iPhone is iCloud unlocked whilst in transit to the buyer, that way you will have zero self-doubt. You can do this by sending it Royal Mail Special Delivery (other courier services are available) and keep the proof of posting - this includes the tracking number and the date/time you dropped it off with the Post Office. Now go to Apple's iCloud Activation Lock checker website and enter the iPhone serial number, take a screenshot. Even if some asshole accuses you of doctoring the screenshot, at least you will be sure of yourself and know 100% you are dealing with an asshole buyer.
TL;DR
When selling iPhones on eBay adhere to these guidelines to avoid being extorted by an asshole buyer:
1. Only communicate within the eBay messaging system. This makes typing email addresses a pain and attachments are woefully low resolution but it means if it goes to eBay arbitration the entire thread is there.
2. Keep proof of dispatch and proof of iCloud Activation status whilst the iPhone is in transit to the buyer. Whilst a real total asshole might also accuse you of doctoring the image, you could counter with a statement along the lines of "proof is the burden of the prosecution" (in English law).
3. Don't give the buyer feedback until a couple of weeks later. This means you are on equal footing until the transaction is long forgotten. Any asshole buyer is unlikely to attempt eBay extortion after that length of time.
4. Stay cool, calm, collected, polite. The customer is always right but assholes will be assholes.
5. Don't be afraid to report the buyer to eBay if you have a legitimate reason to do so. I suspect a lot of assholes get away with extortion because more genuine sellers don't complain to eBay about the asshole buyer.
6. Some buyers are assholes because they always want to get a deal. You are not obligated to satisfy their addiction for 'winning'.
This all helps avoid the situation where you ship an iCloud unlocked iPhone to the buyer but the buyer then iCloud locks it themselves and accuses you of shipping stolen goods.
I hope you have found this anecdote informative, if not entertaining.
Monday, 1 June 2015
Film Festivals Entry Fees or Video Nasties
What benefit do modern film festivals (aka competitions) provide the hard worn filmmaker after you have parted with your entry fee? Film festivals will take your money and often send you the stock rejection letter.
I know from personal experience that back in the 90s you'd get some constructive criticism from the likes of the BAVA.
And so it appears, quite a critique, if you entered the Moviemaker competition in 1982 judging from these specimens from the Michael J. Murphy estate.
Now, I get it. Back then filmmaking - on actual film - was expensive so festival competitions wouldn't get swamped with swill from kids with smartphones.
Perhaps I am looking back with rose-tinted glasses, or perhaps I should start my own damned film festival. Maybe festivals should set the bar higher and piss some people off with a few home truths!
A stock rejection letter teaches you nothing. An individual critique gives you something specific to mull over, even if you don't agree with it.
Michael J. Murphy was a Portsmouth born filmmaker and child prodigy of the medium, creating narrative works from age 15 until his untimely death in 2015. His films sold to multiple territories and continue to be enjoyed worldwide from domestic sell-thru, to licensed broadcasts. You can even find a few bootlegs on YouTube if you look hard enough. There are over 30 feature films in his back catalogue. His film 'Invitation to Hell' pioneered the exploitation of the unregulated nascent home video market which subsequently led to the video nasties we all enjoyed as kids.
I know from personal experience that back in the 90s you'd get some constructive criticism from the likes of the BAVA.
And so it appears, quite a critique, if you entered the Moviemaker competition in 1982 judging from these specimens from the Michael J. Murphy estate.
 |
| 'Stay', 1982 - Gold Star |
 |
| 'The Cell', 1982 - 4 Star |
Now, I get it. Back then filmmaking - on actual film - was expensive so festival competitions wouldn't get swamped with swill from kids with smartphones.
Perhaps I am looking back with rose-tinted glasses, or perhaps I should start my own damned film festival. Maybe festivals should set the bar higher and piss some people off with a few home truths!
A stock rejection letter teaches you nothing. An individual critique gives you something specific to mull over, even if you don't agree with it.
Michael J. Murphy was a Portsmouth born filmmaker and child prodigy of the medium, creating narrative works from age 15 until his untimely death in 2015. His films sold to multiple territories and continue to be enjoyed worldwide from domestic sell-thru, to licensed broadcasts. You can even find a few bootlegs on YouTube if you look hard enough. There are over 30 feature films in his back catalogue. His film 'Invitation to Hell' pioneered the exploitation of the unregulated nascent home video market which subsequently led to the video nasties we all enjoyed as kids.
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Star Wars
Thanks to my own subjectivity, modern Star Wars can never be what I thought it is - my childhood, encapsulated along with memories of a very different time here on Earth.
Thanks to some real fans with the technical know-how and access to the required materials, it is possible for me to dip into that time in the present - but not with any substandard GOUT offering, but a lovingly created restoration of what Star Wars was when I saw it at the cinema. It's certainly not whatever is coming to iTunes this Friday which in my mind will just be another abomination to my tastes. Tastes defined by the art and craft behind 70s Star Wars. Similar dedication to art and craft demonstrated in the process of the Harmy restoration:
This video and the "Despecialized Edition" fan edits of the Star Wars original trilogy were made by the user known as "Harmy" on the OriginalTrilogy.com forums. You may download this video featurette in its highest quality.
Star Wars Despecialized Edition is a work in progress, and is distributed at no cost to legal owners of the Star Wars Blu-ray Disks. Here's how to get Harmy's HD de-specialised Star Wars if the thought of the modernised version leaves you cold.
Thanks to some real fans with the technical know-how and access to the required materials, it is possible for me to dip into that time in the present - but not with any substandard GOUT offering, but a lovingly created restoration of what Star Wars was when I saw it at the cinema. It's certainly not whatever is coming to iTunes this Friday which in my mind will just be another abomination to my tastes. Tastes defined by the art and craft behind 70s Star Wars. Similar dedication to art and craft demonstrated in the process of the Harmy restoration:
This video and the "Despecialized Edition" fan edits of the Star Wars original trilogy were made by the user known as "Harmy" on the OriginalTrilogy.com forums. You may download this video featurette in its highest quality.
Star Wars Despecialized Edition is a work in progress, and is distributed at no cost to legal owners of the Star Wars Blu-ray Disks. Here's how to get Harmy's HD de-specialised Star Wars if the thought of the modernised version leaves you cold.
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
AirNinja and the Apple Watch
It's a curious product for Apple - it's an add-on feature for an iPhone and Apple avoid all talk of the product's thickness. Does this portly product embarrass Apple into not believing their own bullshit?Is the Apple Watch a product or a feature?
Apple have well and truly put away the playbook created by Steve Jobs who wanted products not features, and would drop features in order to get a form factor he wanted.
Or have they?
It's a well known fact that to make money, you have to make products for the rich, or, make products that are so compelling those with less money do all they can to purchase it. "Something is worth what people will pay" to paraphrase a well known someone.
The Apple Watch is unashamedly for the rich. I mean, come on, even the cheapest one is $350 and you need to already have an iPhone. So the person who has scrimped and saved to buy into the iPhone is unlikely to mindlessly purchase a $350 optional feature.
The Apple Watch is an expensive and optional feature of iPhone. It's not the watch 'for the rest of us' but then who under the age of 40 bothers to wear watches today?
The Apple Watch is an expensive and optional feature of iPhone and for old people. Old people, generally, have money. But over 40s tend to be immune to marketing hype.
The Apple Watch is an expensive and optional feature of iPhone and for old people who are immune to hype.
The Apple Watch is not very zen either, is it. I mean it just sounds plain irritating to me to have a second Apple device strapped to my body notifying me of mediocre things in other people's lives. Even checking the time - clock watching - is admission that you have broken your concentration.
The Apple Watch is an expensive and optional feature of iPhone for old people who are immune to hype and have nothing better to do than check the time.
Plainly, the Apple Watch is not for me. Primarily because I am by my own admission not in the market for a new wrist device nor in the market for another piece of technology that needs to be religiously charged daily.
No, currently the Apple Watch does not interest this airninja because it is a duplication of existing functionality I have on me already all day. It's plainly a gratuitous product for the rich and the stupid lazy in its current iteration.
I just don't need a wristwatch whether it be smart or dumb when I already have a highly capable and more powerful and versatile device in my pocket.
And if I was rich? If I was rich would I be fucking blogging about the Apple Watch?!
Don't listen to me. Do your own research, make up your own mind. No two airninjas are exactly the same.
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Recording Voiceover - the Airninja Movie Method
As this video dutifully reminds us, "the objective of the soundman is to record intelligle sound" by considering three conditions/problems:
1. Acoustical treatment of the space.
2. Controlling or avoiding unwanted noise.
3. Choice and placement of microphone(s).
Wait. Isn't 'choice and placement of microphone(s)' two things?! I believe so, but both come under the banner of 'microphone admin'. As you know, the Airninja Movie Method is all about busting admin and minimising gear.
So let's look at how an airninja approaches each condition/problem:
1. Acoustical treatment of space.
Most of the time airninjas are shooting outside rather than in enclosed spaces (and all the admin that entails), or on practical sets where options are limited anyway.
Last night I recorded a voiceover for moakley54's show 'Beyond The Glass Ceiling'. The budget didn't stretch to hiring a sound booth in a studio and I don't own any portable soundproofing material. So we decided to record the voiceover at the writer's house which is situated on a quiet road. I got paid in Haribo. This is where card-carrying union members stop reading. Probably because they work 28 hour days including weekends, or something.
I turned up prepared to go so far as to ask if we could hang a duvet on the wall, but after selecting the front room which was nicely carpeted and knowing this was a voiceover with implications for microphone placement (thus SNR) that was the amount of work that went into that.
Close to zero admin, not bad.
2. Controlling or avoiding unwanted noise.
As I said previously, the writer's house is on a quiet road, so that was the first decision toward minimising potential unwanted noises.
After rehearsing (enabling me to get sound levels at the same time) and then shifting positions a bit so the talent could read off the LCD screen hanging on the opposite wall, I noticed a very faint ticking. Very faint. At first I though it was the director's bionic implant and asked him to move a few more feet away. The sound persisted. Turns out, there was a partially obscured clock up on a shelf ticking away in the mic pick-up pattern in this new arrangement.
So we removed the clock from the room. Problem solved. The director could stay.
The laptop being used to display the words to the voiceover artist was generating a quiet whisper of activity which in a sound-for-picture scenario I would have done something about.
But this is voiceover, with all that implies in terms of microphone placement. So the laptop could stay, and very good too because it was a big chunk of reading our artist had to do from it.
This was the writer's front room, we were making good progress, things sounding great, performance going well. However not even we could stop the Chinook flyover. In a matter of minutes we did another take, problem solved.
Close to zero admin, not bad.
3. Choice and placement of microphone(s).
Okay, I was in a dilemma. Do I go full-on airninja and record using the Apogee MiC 96K directly to my iPhone via lightning connector? I knew from previous experience recording the opening line of dialogue on the Provincials 'Jesus Christ' that it was a sweet sound combo, largely due to the MiC's large diaphragm.
However, I also learned on 'Jesus Christ' that the gain control on the MiC is mostly guesswork. As much as I would have loved to record this voiceover as a full-fledged audio airninja, I decided my confidence levels are not yet high enough - despite flirting with the idea of jacking it into my laptop to more easily monitor the recording.
I did pack the MiC, but only as a failsafe backup (and it takes up a tiny amount of space).
My current go-to weapon of choice for location sound recording is my Nagra SD. It's highly compact and highly capable. Although purists will moan that its pre-amps SNR don't come close to that found in larger recorders - well - that's the point, those ever so slightly better pre-amps are in much larger multi-track recorders. As it is, to my ears, the Nagra SD outclasses every other handheld recorder I've used (with a retail price that knows it). And it's tiny - handheld. Or belt-clipped. Or, perhaps I'll even set it down on a table. What it is not is cumbersome, burdensome, over-the-shoulder annoying.
So knowing my choice of recorder was going to be a dedicated device rather than iPhone or laptop, I then had to decide if I was going to use the Nagra SD clip-on mic or my tried-and-trusty Sennheiser XLR cardioid and adapter cable.
A couple of things made me eliminate the clip-on mic. Firstly, it's stereo and I only wanted to record mono (not a big deal but I can get slightly OCD if things aren't doing what they are supposed to do) but really the reason I didn't use the clip-on mic is because this was voiceover, not an informal handheld recorded interview.
Voiceover. I even dug out a mic stand. Which made me realise that an airninja could do with a more compact mic stand than I currently own. I'm on the look out.
Anyway, it was about mic placement relative to recording controls. I didn't know what I was going to walk into, if the artist would want to sit or stand, so a cabled mic to recorder gives far more versatility in terms of comfort. If there's no comfort there's no cool.
So I decided on my Sennheiser cardioid. It's a model people look down on as 'semi' professional when they are being generous in Youtube comments, whatever that means. Perhaps it means people who work for confectionary somehow aren't capable of being a whiny moany union card-carrying anally retentive professional? I don't know. I whine and moan and am anally retentive, perhaps I should join BECTU.
Microphone Data tells me that the specs of the mic I selected are thus:
I'm not a union member so obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about except as an airninja. Now, as an airninja let me tell you what's important.
SNR - signal-to-noise ratio. It's all a sound recordist is really concerned with. With a good SNR comes that intelligibly recorded sound that is the objective of the soundman, or woman, or small dog. Or cat, let's not forget soundcats. Airninjas too.
What does the frequency curve tell me? This microphone colours the sound at the higher end of the sound spectrum and starts to rolloff at around 200Hz (yikes). It will likely sound 'bright'. Fine by me. Flat EQ is an automated analysis away in post production, will take no more than three seconds to fix, if it even matters. That's right. Audio engineers are increasingly replaced by small snippets of computer code.
What does the polar curve tell me? Cardioid, check. Ah, the 'brightness' is slightly more directional. Since I won't be recording the voiceover off-mic and the most directional aspect is at 16kHz anyway, why worry? Not many human voices have prevalent vibrations at 16kHz.
What do the electrical characteristics tell me? Frequency response from 40Hz will have audiophiles up in arms. But I'm not recording music with live details down to 17Hz (which falls outside of even the Hi-Fi standard of 20Hz - 20kHz). I get concerned when I see significant rolloff at 50Hz but since its less than -6dB, I'm not overly concerned. Perceivable loudness tends to increment in steps of between 3dB and 6dB.
Output sensitivity. This is the physics bit. 31mV/Pa - that's 31 milliVolts per Pascal - tells me this mic is hot. Not hot like your favourite porn star, but hot like sensitive, hot like will provide an awesome range of gain options. Hot hot hot. Some like it hot, and I certainly do. Generally speaking, a hot mic will allow you to maximise SNR. (Compare this to the industry standard Schoeps CMC641 which produces 13mV/Pa but has significantly less impedance to start with - so can afford to be 'cold' if your wallet can afford it - no doubt about it, Schoeps make amazing mics).
Max SPL - maximum sound pressure level. Sustained noise at 130dB will make your ears bleed and be exceedingly uncomfortable, but won't distort the physical recording apparatus. This is a good thing on a relatively inexpensive mic. The CMC641 does 132dB at four times the price but with only 0.5% THD.
THD? Total Harmonic Distortion. All I know is, distortion is bad. But whether it's distorting at 0.5% or 1.0%, I'd a hazard a guess that your ears won't notice - and if they do, you probably have playback equipment that no mere mortal can afford. Good for you. And your anal retentiveness.
Self noise. Well fuck, 25dB of noise on this mic? Compare that to the CMC641 which has 24dB of self noise and I think you'll agree it's nothing to worry about. However it's measured.
Output impedance. Resistance. 200 Ohms is very very high compared to the Schoeps which is on 35 Ohms. What does this mean? It means a cold mic with a high impedance will have a high noise floor cos you'll have to crank the gain up up up to get a good level. Fortunately, this Sennheiser mic takes the brute force approach and pumps out the aforementioned 31mV/Pa. Meaning the needed gain is reduced along with any self noise.
Recommended load. 1.0kOhm is totally abstract to me. I have no idea. I've never found this stat to affect anything in all my microphone ownership, including the legendary Neumann RSM-191 (sadly departed, though I don't miss the proprietary cabling and annoying external matrix circuitry).
Powering. Can the mic be phantom powered. A different subject for another day.
Supply current and alternative powering? Versatility can be useful for an airninja.
So you may be thinking that microphone selection is somewhat involved. And it can be. Or you can go to a shop and audition a bunch and believe what your ears tell you.
I selected this Sennheiser mic based on previous experience of one of its family members and knowing it was a hot mic. It's the same mic I recently used on Fat Finger Film's show 'Scissor Happy' with much accolade about how great everything sounded.
So far so good.
And for all my praise of MEMS microphones and DSP in iPhone, that would not be best suited to this situation (but if an iPhone is all you have and you know where its mics are at, you can get some very good results).
Where were we.
Microphone selection, check.
Microphone placement.
Now because the mic was going to be close to the artist I used the Rycote softie in lieu of any pop-filter and other foam. Plus, it's easier. Slip on the softie vs setup and configure a pop-filter. Softie is far less admin and takes up less space. I suppose this paragraph really belongs in section 2 above, but I can't be bothered to move it now. (Less admin.)
Placement of the microphone was determined by whether the artist wanted to sit or stand, then I just dragged out a mic stand with a boom arm and positioned accordingly (around 50cm away from her mouth).
Job done. Relax and record some takes. Comfort is cool.
1. Acoustical treatment of the space.
2. Controlling or avoiding unwanted noise.
3. Choice and placement of microphone(s).
Wait. Isn't 'choice and placement of microphone(s)' two things?! I believe so, but both come under the banner of 'microphone admin'. As you know, the Airninja Movie Method is all about busting admin and minimising gear.
So let's look at how an airninja approaches each condition/problem:
1. Acoustical treatment of space.
Most of the time airninjas are shooting outside rather than in enclosed spaces (and all the admin that entails), or on practical sets where options are limited anyway.
Last night I recorded a voiceover for moakley54's show 'Beyond The Glass Ceiling'. The budget didn't stretch to hiring a sound booth in a studio and I don't own any portable soundproofing material. So we decided to record the voiceover at the writer's house which is situated on a quiet road. I got paid in Haribo. This is where card-carrying union members stop reading. Probably because they work 28 hour days including weekends, or something.
I turned up prepared to go so far as to ask if we could hang a duvet on the wall, but after selecting the front room which was nicely carpeted and knowing this was a voiceover with implications for microphone placement (thus SNR) that was the amount of work that went into that.
Close to zero admin, not bad.
2. Controlling or avoiding unwanted noise.
As I said previously, the writer's house is on a quiet road, so that was the first decision toward minimising potential unwanted noises.
After rehearsing (enabling me to get sound levels at the same time) and then shifting positions a bit so the talent could read off the LCD screen hanging on the opposite wall, I noticed a very faint ticking. Very faint. At first I though it was the director's bionic implant and asked him to move a few more feet away. The sound persisted. Turns out, there was a partially obscured clock up on a shelf ticking away in the mic pick-up pattern in this new arrangement.
So we removed the clock from the room. Problem solved. The director could stay.
The laptop being used to display the words to the voiceover artist was generating a quiet whisper of activity which in a sound-for-picture scenario I would have done something about.
But this is voiceover, with all that implies in terms of microphone placement. So the laptop could stay, and very good too because it was a big chunk of reading our artist had to do from it.
This was the writer's front room, we were making good progress, things sounding great, performance going well. However not even we could stop the Chinook flyover. In a matter of minutes we did another take, problem solved.
Close to zero admin, not bad.
3. Choice and placement of microphone(s).
Okay, I was in a dilemma. Do I go full-on airninja and record using the Apogee MiC 96K directly to my iPhone via lightning connector? I knew from previous experience recording the opening line of dialogue on the Provincials 'Jesus Christ' that it was a sweet sound combo, largely due to the MiC's large diaphragm.
However, I also learned on 'Jesus Christ' that the gain control on the MiC is mostly guesswork. As much as I would have loved to record this voiceover as a full-fledged audio airninja, I decided my confidence levels are not yet high enough - despite flirting with the idea of jacking it into my laptop to more easily monitor the recording.
I did pack the MiC, but only as a failsafe backup (and it takes up a tiny amount of space).
My current go-to weapon of choice for location sound recording is my Nagra SD. It's highly compact and highly capable. Although purists will moan that its pre-amps SNR don't come close to that found in larger recorders - well - that's the point, those ever so slightly better pre-amps are in much larger multi-track recorders. As it is, to my ears, the Nagra SD outclasses every other handheld recorder I've used (with a retail price that knows it). And it's tiny - handheld. Or belt-clipped. Or, perhaps I'll even set it down on a table. What it is not is cumbersome, burdensome, over-the-shoulder annoying.
So knowing my choice of recorder was going to be a dedicated device rather than iPhone or laptop, I then had to decide if I was going to use the Nagra SD clip-on mic or my tried-and-trusty Sennheiser XLR cardioid and adapter cable.
A couple of things made me eliminate the clip-on mic. Firstly, it's stereo and I only wanted to record mono (not a big deal but I can get slightly OCD if things aren't doing what they are supposed to do) but really the reason I didn't use the clip-on mic is because this was voiceover, not an informal handheld recorded interview.
Voiceover. I even dug out a mic stand. Which made me realise that an airninja could do with a more compact mic stand than I currently own. I'm on the look out.
Anyway, it was about mic placement relative to recording controls. I didn't know what I was going to walk into, if the artist would want to sit or stand, so a cabled mic to recorder gives far more versatility in terms of comfort. If there's no comfort there's no cool.
So I decided on my Sennheiser cardioid. It's a model people look down on as 'semi' professional when they are being generous in Youtube comments, whatever that means. Perhaps it means people who work for confectionary somehow aren't capable of being a whiny moany union card-carrying anally retentive professional? I don't know. I whine and moan and am anally retentive, perhaps I should join BECTU.
Microphone Data tells me that the specs of the mic I selected are thus:
I'm not a union member so obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about except as an airninja. Now, as an airninja let me tell you what's important.
SNR - signal-to-noise ratio. It's all a sound recordist is really concerned with. With a good SNR comes that intelligibly recorded sound that is the objective of the soundman, or woman, or small dog. Or cat, let's not forget soundcats. Airninjas too.
What does the frequency curve tell me? This microphone colours the sound at the higher end of the sound spectrum and starts to rolloff at around 200Hz (yikes). It will likely sound 'bright'. Fine by me. Flat EQ is an automated analysis away in post production, will take no more than three seconds to fix, if it even matters. That's right. Audio engineers are increasingly replaced by small snippets of computer code.
What does the polar curve tell me? Cardioid, check. Ah, the 'brightness' is slightly more directional. Since I won't be recording the voiceover off-mic and the most directional aspect is at 16kHz anyway, why worry? Not many human voices have prevalent vibrations at 16kHz.
What do the electrical characteristics tell me? Frequency response from 40Hz will have audiophiles up in arms. But I'm not recording music with live details down to 17Hz (which falls outside of even the Hi-Fi standard of 20Hz - 20kHz). I get concerned when I see significant rolloff at 50Hz but since its less than -6dB, I'm not overly concerned. Perceivable loudness tends to increment in steps of between 3dB and 6dB.
Output sensitivity. This is the physics bit. 31mV/Pa - that's 31 milliVolts per Pascal - tells me this mic is hot. Not hot like your favourite porn star, but hot like sensitive, hot like will provide an awesome range of gain options. Hot hot hot. Some like it hot, and I certainly do. Generally speaking, a hot mic will allow you to maximise SNR. (Compare this to the industry standard Schoeps CMC641 which produces 13mV/Pa but has significantly less impedance to start with - so can afford to be 'cold' if your wallet can afford it - no doubt about it, Schoeps make amazing mics).
Max SPL - maximum sound pressure level. Sustained noise at 130dB will make your ears bleed and be exceedingly uncomfortable, but won't distort the physical recording apparatus. This is a good thing on a relatively inexpensive mic. The CMC641 does 132dB at four times the price but with only 0.5% THD.
THD? Total Harmonic Distortion. All I know is, distortion is bad. But whether it's distorting at 0.5% or 1.0%, I'd a hazard a guess that your ears won't notice - and if they do, you probably have playback equipment that no mere mortal can afford. Good for you. And your anal retentiveness.
Self noise. Well fuck, 25dB of noise on this mic? Compare that to the CMC641 which has 24dB of self noise and I think you'll agree it's nothing to worry about. However it's measured.
Output impedance. Resistance. 200 Ohms is very very high compared to the Schoeps which is on 35 Ohms. What does this mean? It means a cold mic with a high impedance will have a high noise floor cos you'll have to crank the gain up up up to get a good level. Fortunately, this Sennheiser mic takes the brute force approach and pumps out the aforementioned 31mV/Pa. Meaning the needed gain is reduced along with any self noise.
Recommended load. 1.0kOhm is totally abstract to me. I have no idea. I've never found this stat to affect anything in all my microphone ownership, including the legendary Neumann RSM-191 (sadly departed, though I don't miss the proprietary cabling and annoying external matrix circuitry).
Powering. Can the mic be phantom powered. A different subject for another day.
Supply current and alternative powering? Versatility can be useful for an airninja.
So you may be thinking that microphone selection is somewhat involved. And it can be. Or you can go to a shop and audition a bunch and believe what your ears tell you.
I selected this Sennheiser mic based on previous experience of one of its family members and knowing it was a hot mic. It's the same mic I recently used on Fat Finger Film's show 'Scissor Happy' with much accolade about how great everything sounded.
So far so good.
And for all my praise of MEMS microphones and DSP in iPhone, that would not be best suited to this situation (but if an iPhone is all you have and you know where its mics are at, you can get some very good results).
Where were we.
Microphone selection, check.
Microphone placement.
Now because the mic was going to be close to the artist I used the Rycote softie in lieu of any pop-filter and other foam. Plus, it's easier. Slip on the softie vs setup and configure a pop-filter. Softie is far less admin and takes up less space. I suppose this paragraph really belongs in section 2 above, but I can't be bothered to move it now. (Less admin.)
Placement of the microphone was determined by whether the artist wanted to sit or stand, then I just dragged out a mic stand with a boom arm and positioned accordingly (around 50cm away from her mouth).
Job done. Relax and record some takes. Comfort is cool.
Wednesday, 21 January 2015
#DIALW Day Four and Five - ducking, burning, drinking, resting, editing
On day four we successfully sent the suspected witch to trial into the freezing waters of the River Test where the blacksmith divined the fact she is a witch by attempting to drown the woman - she lived! Clearly a witch. So we burned the devilspawn tied to a stake in Spinney Hollow (other amazing activities are also available). The evening descends into classic medieval debauchery and I slip away to dump the rushes and do a kit check ...
What can I say?
1. The Lord's rain does not show up in the frame when filming it. Mythbusted! I'm happy to have visual proof that it does show up if you aren't scared of a bit of rain, and have a light source and camera available to record. Sure, the rain has to be reasonably medium-to-heavy but by-jiminey if it doesn't look like fucking rain on playback - because it is fucking rain.
2. Thou shalt not use a smartphone to make a film. Poppycock! This commandment has been successfully debunked several times over and Dark Is A Long Way continues the trend.
3. Always use a smartphone case and screen protector. Well, yes. Do do that (my choice for DIALW being iPhone 6 Plus and Anker case). Because in the freezing rain and cold mud whilst slipping in the quagmire you won't need a camera assistant, you won't need an umbrella, you won't need to cry for your mummy, you can just keep shooting and shooting and shooting. Your fingers will freeze and you will die of hyperthermia and the screen protective case will keep capacitive-confusing moisture off the glass long after you are dead and have no need for phone. Except perhaps for an emergency call?
4. Bonus/footnote - the Vivobarefoot Tracker
performed admirably in these conditions with a firm connection to the ground, I didn't slip once. More importantly perhaps, neither did I get soaking wet feet whilst standing in River Test nor galavanting around Spinney Hollow.
In summary - "nobody knows anything" - William Goldman.
On day five - well, there's hangovers to contend with and a very rough and loose edit to continue. We are at least over half way through the nine day production schedule now!
What can I say?
 |
| DeerCam1 after shooting for hours in freezing rain. |
2. Thou shalt not use a smartphone to make a film. Poppycock! This commandment has been successfully debunked several times over and Dark Is A Long Way continues the trend.
3. Always use a smartphone case and screen protector. Well, yes. Do do that (my choice for DIALW being iPhone 6 Plus and Anker case). Because in the freezing rain and cold mud whilst slipping in the quagmire you won't need a camera assistant, you won't need an umbrella, you won't need to cry for your mummy, you can just keep shooting and shooting and shooting. Your fingers will freeze and you will die of hyperthermia and the screen protective case will keep capacitive-confusing moisture off the glass long after you are dead and have no need for phone. Except perhaps for an emergency call?
 |
| Vivobarefoot Tracker off-road boot. |
performed admirably in these conditions with a firm connection to the ground, I didn't slip once. More importantly perhaps, neither did I get soaking wet feet whilst standing in River Test nor galavanting around Spinney Hollow.In summary - "nobody knows anything" - William Goldman.
On day five - well, there's hangovers to contend with and a very rough and loose edit to continue. We are at least over half way through the nine day production schedule now!
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Why My New Year's Resolution is NOT 4K (or even 2K)
Short version: in the airninja world, content is king.
Long Version
I remember having a conversation with a Portsmouth videotape wholesaler in the early nineties, saying that I couldn't wait until home computers could edit D1. That's all I wanted. I couldn't see beyond that, just like Tarantinonozzle can't see past 'film'. Since then I've seen miniDV (essentially consumer D1 that could be edited on a home computer - NLE 720x576p on a Matrox Mystique equipped with Rainbow Runner daughtercard) come and go. The rise of DSLR that amazed people with motion photography like it wasn't already over a hundred fucking years old.
Amazing. Gear.
With new gear comes new resolutions and format wars (yawn). All of it amazeballs compared to consumer tech of the early nineties.
Amazing. Resolution.
But just like the median human ear can't hear beyond the 20Hz-20kHz Hi-Fi standard, most dipshits can't tell the difference between 720P and 1080P on a 50" living room TV (LCD natch, plasma purists be damned).
That's not to say there's no application for 4K and beyond. Just like some idiot might want to record dialogue at 32bit 192kHz, some idiot will want to record 4K for a 50" screen rather than your nearest Imax relic. And a sales-snake will be all too eager to upsell.
Anyway, 4K is already 'obsolete'. And up until a short time ago 1080P was perfectly fine for every cinema everywhere - certainly an improvement over cinema projected 35mm.
Gear with improved resolutions and formats come and go. Content sticks around for a long time. Enjoy the movie.
Long Version
I remember having a conversation with a Portsmouth videotape wholesaler in the early nineties, saying that I couldn't wait until home computers could edit D1. That's all I wanted. I couldn't see beyond that, just like Tarantinonozzle can't see past 'film'. Since then I've seen miniDV (essentially consumer D1 that could be edited on a home computer - NLE 720x576p on a Matrox Mystique equipped with Rainbow Runner daughtercard) come and go. The rise of DSLR that amazed people with motion photography like it wasn't already over a hundred fucking years old.
Amazing. Gear.
With new gear comes new resolutions and format wars (yawn). All of it amazeballs compared to consumer tech of the early nineties.
Amazing. Resolution.
But just like the median human ear can't hear beyond the 20Hz-20kHz Hi-Fi standard, most dipshits can't tell the difference between 720P and 1080P on a 50" living room TV (LCD natch, plasma purists be damned).That's not to say there's no application for 4K and beyond. Just like some idiot might want to record dialogue at 32bit 192kHz, some idiot will want to record 4K for a 50" screen rather than your nearest Imax relic. And a sales-snake will be all too eager to upsell.
Anyway, 4K is already 'obsolete'. And up until a short time ago 1080P was perfectly fine for every cinema everywhere - certainly an improvement over cinema projected 35mm.
Gear with improved resolutions and formats come and go. Content sticks around for a long time. Enjoy the movie.
Sunday, 24 August 2014
Apple Notes Rant
After trying to restore my Apple Notes after a rage quit, I have realised the rage quit was the Right Thing to do.
Why?
Apple Notes (on Mavericks and iOS etc) should be called Apple Records. It's a database. Nary a .txt or .rtf to be found in the file system.
You can restore ~/Library/Containers/com.apple.Notes/Data/Library/Notes/ but iCloud will see you did a rage quit already and delete them all again based on date.
Time Machine is not talking to Notes, so good luck. (Potential for a 20th century style system clock workaround maybe? But I can't be arsed to try).
Of course my Notes are just notes, I don't particularly care - I do care about ASCII and Unicode and markdown, I don't care for little text files being holed up in a fricking database. Touch each record, I'm sure they could be restored back to iCloud but right now that doesn't happen.
For now, I'm keeping my notes as text files on Dropbox and using the text editor of my choice to keep notes. Notes that I know could be restored by an air ninja if required.
Why?
Apple Notes (on Mavericks and iOS etc) should be called Apple Records. It's a database. Nary a .txt or .rtf to be found in the file system.
You can restore ~/Library/Containers/com.apple.Notes/Data/Library/Notes/ but iCloud will see you did a rage quit already and delete them all again based on date.
Time Machine is not talking to Notes, so good luck. (Potential for a 20th century style system clock workaround maybe? But I can't be arsed to try).
Of course my Notes are just notes, I don't particularly care - I do care about ASCII and Unicode and markdown, I don't care for little text files being holed up in a fricking database. Touch each record, I'm sure they could be restored back to iCloud but right now that doesn't happen.
For now, I'm keeping my notes as text files on Dropbox and using the text editor of my choice to keep notes. Notes that I know could be restored by an air ninja if required.
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